DAGGERFALL- Of Guilds and Quirks

Daggerfall is the property of Bethesda.
The following is based on a rather... odd situation I had with a Fighters Guild quest in Daggerfall (a bit embellished, of course).
Enjoy!

Of Guilds and Quirks
By: Janus3003


"It's good to be a priest of Kynareth, isn't it, your Grace?" Wulf commented with a wide grin on his face.
"I beg your pardon, sir?" replied the ancient priest.
"Are you blind?" the Nord asked, pointing to the two shapely (and nude) ladies seated on the ground. "Your own room with some lovely company? That's awesome, man! Where do I sign up?"

Within a minute, Wulf found himself thrown back out onto the streets of the great city of Daggerfall. Clearly he wasn't fit to be a temple clergyman.
Still, he needed work. His mission for Emperor Uriel Septim VII hadn't progressed anywhere at all, and his shipwreck and fight for survival in the nefarious dungeon known as Privateer's Hold hadn't helped matters. Luckily, he had acquired a decent amount of gold, equipment, and tradable goods in the Hold, but it wouldn't last him forever.
He quickly decided to return to his original destination (the one from before he was distracted by the temple. Distraction was a common flaw of Tamriel's heroes)- the Fighters Guild.  After asking several identical people on the street, checking his map, and running as fast as he possibly could, Wulf finally arrived in front of the impressive stone structure.
"At last!" Wulf said to no one in particular and walked right on inside. He was greeted by a fat man in a green shirt who did nothing but stand and stare. Wulf decided to ignore him (he looked boring) and explored the guild hall, somewhat unnerved by how everyone there (and in every other building, he suddenly realized) seemed to turn to face him wherever he went.
Finally, he found someone interesting to talk to- a Redguard woman in steel armor that seemed to only protect her middle-to-lower torso and left little else to the imagination (he'd have to ask her about that later).
"Hail to thee, fair Redguard!" Wulf said with a bow, his Etiquette skill increasing by one percent. The woman said nothing, and instead a box appeared before her, with the options "JOIN GUILD," "TALK," and "Training" available. With a shrug, Wulf selected "JOIN GUILD," and the woman (who Wulf noticed was locked an alluring but uncomfortable posture) gave a long tirade concerning the Fighters' Guild, payment, work, etc., etc.
The Redguard, somehow knowing that Wulf was a skilled melee combatant just by looking at him, gave him full Guild membership without question, and soon enough, Wulf was given a quest by the Guildmaster.
"We have a job," the Guildmaster, a Redguard man, said with an air of annoyance. "Gods, I hate clients like these. Apparently someone left his back door open and a wild animal got in. He wasn't sure if it was a bear or tiger (seriously, how can you not know?), but he's positive it tried to eat him. Think you could kill it for us? Standard pay is 90 gold."
"Of course," Wulf answered with a smile. "Who's the client?"
"The Mages Guild in Chesterwark."
"…come again?"
"Chesterwark. It's a city here in Dag-"
"No, I understood that perfectly. But did you say the Mages Guild?"
The Guildmaster stared blankly in response, holding his unnaturally stiff pose.
Wulf groaned. "NPCs," he muttered as he walked out of the guild hall and prepared himself for Fast Travel.

After an astounding six days of cautious traveling on foot/horse and staying at inns, Wulf arrived in Chesterwark at roughly six in the morning on Turdas. Immediately, Wulf's skills in Long Blade, Sneaking, and Running all increased by one percent, but not enough to raise him a level.
He took off running through the streets and plazas as fast as he could, stopping finally to talk to an attractive woman (many of them identical to another one nearby) to ask about the Mages Guild location.
"Good morrow to thee, Alessandra Wickham!" Wulf greeted with a kiss on her hand, neither he nor Alessandra questioning how Wulf knew her name.
"Well met! Can I help you?" replied the blonde, striking a sultry pose for no apparent reason.
"Could you perhaps disseminate some local hearsay regarding current events?" inquired Wulf in hopes of acquiring another quest while he was here.
"I try not to spread rumors," replied Alessandra, repeating the same words that Wulf had heard from dozens of other NPCs.
"Very well, it's no matter. By any chance, could you tell me the location of the Mages Guild?"
"The Mages Guild? 'tis east… no, west… no, southwest, I'm sure!"
This wasn't good enough for Wulf. By the Divines, he would have more information!
""Very well, it's no matter. By any chance, could you tell me the location of the Mages Guild?" he asked again.
"Just keep walking southwest," Alessandra replied cheerfully. "You can't miss it!"
"Very well, it's no matter. By any chance, could you tell me the location of the Mages Guild?"
Again and again, Wulf asked Alessandra the same question, the poor girl happily answering "southwest" each time, with vary degrees of uncertainty.
At long last, she marked the location on his map. His goal achieved, Wulf said goodbye and ran off as quickly as he could, finally arriving at the Mages Guild.
Barging inside, he was immediately greeted by nothing other than mages, who, like those in the Fighters Guild, had the odd habit of holding unnaturally still and turning to face him wherever he went.
"Greetings!" Wulf said, approaching the first man he could reach. "I heard there was a wild animal here that needed kil-"
"My services are for guild members alone."
"Sure, whatever, but you called us for h-"
"My services are for guild members alone."
"You know what? Screw you."
Wulf proceeded to open every door he could find, receiving no protests from any of the mages, none of which seemed too concerned with the wild animal on the loose.
"You know," Wulf said to whomever cared to listen, "I'm starting to wonder if this was just a false ala- OH GODS BEAR!" he cried as his quarry surprised him when he opened the door. The grizzly bear roared and swiped its massive paw at Wulf, barely missing his face.
"Somebody help! There's a freaking bear here!" he cried, running down the hall and back into the main room.
The mages stood blankly, not moving, still staring eerily at him.
"You guys suck!" Wulf shouted, drawing his claymore and facing the bear.
Wulf locked eyes with his foe. The grizzly accepted the challenge, standing high and roaring. Wulf shouted in return and took a single swipe with his claymore.
The bear fell instantly, collapsing in a bloody heap in the middle of the room.
Still, the mages did nothing.
"Did you guys seriously not see that?" Wulf demanded, wiping the sweat and blood off his face and pointing at the bear's corpse, which also now seemed to turn to face him wherever he moved.
The mages responded with silence and more staring. Wulf returned the favor for a few minutes, but the mages refused to break.
With a sigh, the Nord left the Mages Guild and prepared to fast travel back to claim his reward.
"This place is nice," he admitted to himself, "but good grief, Daggerfall's weird sometimes."