literature

Capt Miracle and the Water Tank of Woeful Tortures

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    “Oh, Captain Miracle, we’re in quite a predicament!”

    “Indeed you are, Brain Boy!” cackled the evil Hydrachnid. Brain Boy and Captain Miracle were suspended over a tank of boiling water.

    “Justice cannot be boiled, Hydrachnid,” Captain Miracle said grimly.

    Hydrachnid laughed and shook his head. “This is no mere scalding water, dear Captain. It is poisoned,” he threw a large vial of green liquid into the tank, “it is electrified.” he pulled a lever, and electricity arced over and through the water.

    “And, if that was not enough,” the diabolical douchebag continued, “it is crawling with my very own water spiders!” He laughed maniacally as his signature water spiders filled the tank, unaffected by all of its other dangers.

    Brain Boy gulped. “Oh, no! We’re-”

    “Doomed indeed, Brain Boy!” said Hydrachnid, rubbing his palms together. Screeching with manic laughter, the arachnophilic hydromaniac pushed a big red button, and the two heroes descended toward the water.

    Brain Boy whimpered unintelligibly as Captain Miracle silently took stock of their situation. The water beneath them boiled in rage, and fearsome water spiders scurried about it. Some stayed at the pool’s sides while others skidded on the water’s surface. A black swarm of them swam through the liquid death, and a handful jumped from the water, mandibles drooling in anticipation of their heroic feast.

    “You’re rather desperate, aren’t you, Hydrachnid?” asked Captain Miracle, his voice steady. Brain Boy was blubbering like a baby behind him.

    “I should say the same for you, Captain,” said Hydrachnid.

    “You’re desperate to end us, and you’re desperate to send a message to all other heroes and villains of your power. Deep down, you’re just a criminal coward who wants everyone to think he’s the biggest kid on the block.”

    Hydrachnid screamed in fury. “You will die first, Captain Miracle! Commander, see to it that Captain Miracle wishes he had never been born.”

    With a hiss, a water spider jumped from the water’s surface to the heroes, sticking to Brain Boy’s boot. The lad’s face went white, and he fainted. Captain Miracle maintained his grim silence as the water spider went about adjusting the heroes’ binding harness. Satisfied that Brain Boy would remain in place, it detached Captain Miracle, catching him by his ankles before he hit the water. The noble hero tucked his chin to his chest, the water just a hair away from touching him.

    “Feast on his face, my spiders!” Hydrachnid burst into another fit of psychotic laughter. With a heroic grin, Captain Miracle dipped his face in the boiling water, clenched his teeth, and sucked in as much as he could. Poison and electrified spiders gathered in his mouth. Then he blew it all at Hydrachnid.

    The sociopathic sod screamed, scared by the spooky spiders on his sinister smile. He fell to the floor, clutching his burning face as the spiders chewed through his cheeks.

    Captain Miracle leaned and swung forward, breaking the web and landing at the villain’s side.

    “Your water spiders are modified Arabian Death Spiders, Hydrachnid,” said the Captain. “And everyone knows that they’re a fickle species.”

    “This is impossible!”

    “Impossible? Maybe. We’d best call it a miracle.”

     

This was supposed to be my entry for  500 Word Contest!Hello there, writers and wordsmiths!
We're launching our newest competition :squee:
Write a mere 500 words for some cool prizes?
It's a bit more than that!
In this contest, participants write a short story, but must include and attach significance to a liquid.
Juice for a children's story, holy water for a fantasy or blood for a work of horror? It's up to you!
They'll be a winner and a runner up!
The winner will receive a watch and a critique on a chosen work from two of our admins, megatarget and OVERobsessedBOOKWORM :w00t: Oh, and a whopping 200:points:
The runner up will also win points, a tidy sum of 100!
We encourage you all to enter and try your hand at creativity + brevity! I know I find it a challenge ;) You have until the 5th of January!
Good luck!
Rules:
- You can only enter once.
- Works must be at least 500 words. Nothing over 530 words.
- You must focus on a liquid.
- Meet the deadline!
DEADLINE: January 5th
, but I procrastinated. :(
526 words, yo.

Want more Captain Miracle? Here you go:  AdumbrationAdumbration- n; the process of making something dumber.
 
    “You fickle fiend!” Brain Boy cried. He struggled against his restraints to no avail. Sweat trickled down his brow and around his mask as the giant laser gun pointed at his forehead.
    “Your words will get you nowhere!” said the Recidivist with a confident cackle. “You have outsmarted me for the last time. With a single blast of my Adumbration Ray, your fabulous intelligence will disappear! You’ll spend the rest of your life failing Kindergarten!” The vile villain threw his head back and laughed.
    Brain Boy couldn’t see any way out of this. He couldn’t move. The laser was upon him. No one could save him now.
    “I’m doomed.”
    The Recidivist snickered sinisterly as he placed his finger on the Adumbration Ray’s big red butto
© 2015 - 2024 Janus3003
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LotusJadeThorn's avatar
I wonder why this isn't in the Humour folder, this was so funny! 

"the diabolical douchebag" :')

I liked the ending too; very clever.